I Think Our Relationship Is OVER!

My Dearest Packing Tape~

First, I want to tell you how AWESOME you are and that I have used you for many years. Actually, you could say I LOVE YOU! You have been a life saver to me on so many occasions.  You have held together ginormous, HEAVY boxes when we moved all our junk precious belongings here back in 1989, and also when our rug-rats beloved children got married and moved away......(sniff, sniff)......and you have fixed many torn ones as well.  Especially right after Christmas when I have had to perform many a surgery on all those gift boxes the kids so selfishly tore apart, without any consideration as to how those poor boxes felt.  They were just trying to celebrate the holidays right along with us and that's how they get treated?.....Oh, the HORROR!

During our relationship, you have helped me mend my broken nails so I could polish them oh so prettily to get out of dinner dish duty for an evening....(sorry, honey, I can't clean up or do the dishes...I just polished my nails!  :  > )  And lets not forget the countless times I have rolled you around my fat petite, little fingers as a make-shift lint roller.  Having three cats, two dogs, two chinchillas, and seven chickens.....one tends to get very hairy, you know!  Well, not from the chickens because they don't have hair or come in the house. Well, except that time when I was raising the peeps and they were living in a crate in the living room, but we won't get into that right now.  

OOOOH, OOOOH, OOOOH, and remember that time you held up the hem up on my pretty blue skirt for me when that really cheap thread I bought at Wal-Mart . . . .the five-n-ten didn't? Awww.....such sweet memories we have together that will last a lifetime!!

However, at the moment I am saddened and at a loss by your performance and not sure if I will be able to make it through the rest of my day.  But alas, poor Urich.....I must try.  But first, I have one question for you.......If you can do such a FANTABULOUS JOB on so many other things.................

WHY CAN'T YOU HOLD MY READING GLASSES TOGETHER? GEEZ, LOUISE!!! 

Sincerely,
Perplexed, Confused,
and DEEPLY Hurting in VA