Holy Cow

Yodeling Cat - ROFLOL

(PLEASE PAUSE MUSIC PLAYLIST ON SIDEBAR BEFORE VIEWING VIDEO.....YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!) 
LOL

I Think Our Relationship Is OVER!

My Dearest Packing Tape~

First, I want to tell you how AWESOME you are and that I have used you for many years. Actually, you could say I LOVE YOU! You have been a life saver to me on so many occasions.  You have held together ginormous, HEAVY boxes when we moved all our junk precious belongings here back in 1989, and also when our rug-rats beloved children got married and moved away......(sniff, sniff)......and you have fixed many torn ones as well.  Especially right after Christmas when I have had to perform many a surgery on all those gift boxes the kids so selfishly tore apart, without any consideration as to how those poor boxes felt.  They were just trying to celebrate the holidays right along with us and that's how they get treated?.....Oh, the HORROR!

During our relationship, you have helped me mend my broken nails so I could polish them oh so prettily to get out of dinner dish duty for an evening....(sorry, honey, I can't clean up or do the dishes...I just polished my nails!  :  > )  And lets not forget the countless times I have rolled you around my fat petite, little fingers as a make-shift lint roller.  Having three cats, two dogs, two chinchillas, and seven chickens.....one tends to get very hairy, you know!  Well, not from the chickens because they don't have hair or come in the house. Well, except that time when I was raising the peeps and they were living in a crate in the living room, but we won't get into that right now.  

OOOOH, OOOOH, OOOOH, and remember that time you held up the hem up on my pretty blue skirt for me when that really cheap thread I bought at Wal-Mart . . . .the five-n-ten didn't? Awww.....such sweet memories we have together that will last a lifetime!!

However, at the moment I am saddened and at a loss by your performance and not sure if I will be able to make it through the rest of my day.  But alas, poor Urich.....I must try.  But first, I have one question for you.......If you can do such a FANTABULOUS JOB on so many other things.................

WHY CAN'T YOU HOLD MY READING GLASSES TOGETHER? GEEZ, LOUISE!!! 

Sincerely,
Perplexed, Confused,
and DEEPLY Hurting in VA

What's In YOUR Closet

 This is what's in mine!  lol

ROFLOL!

I was getting everything ready to grill a roast and thought I would take a pic and e-mail it to my sister.  I didn't see what was just on the other side of the railing until I uploaded my camera.  I guess I really should make sure I am wearing my glasses when I take pictures!  lol

Somehow I think the grill and Gena should NOT be in the same picture!  lol

ROFLOL!

Oooooo, A Snack!

The Bakery

After starting a new diet recently, I altered my drive into town to avoid passing my favorite bakery. Unfortunately, I had to drive by the bakery this morning, and as I approached, there in the window, were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Lord, it's up to you. If you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery!"



And sure enough. . . . . . . . .on the eighth time around the block, there it was!

GOD IS SO GOOD!

HYMNS

Do you know your hymns?

Dentist's Hymn........................Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn............There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn........................The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.........................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn........................There's a Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn..................Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn................Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn.................I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn......................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn................Send The Light
The Shopper's Hymn....................Sweet Bye and Bye
The Realtor's Hymn.........I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
The Massage Therapists Hymn....He Touched Me
The Doctor's Hymn......................The Great Physician

AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:
45mph....................God Will Take Care of You
65mph....................Nearer My God To Thee
85mph....................This World Is Not My Home
95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home
100mph..................Precious Memories

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.

Thank you for sharing this with me, Andrea, so that I could share this with others as well!

Dear..................

(THIS IS A RE-POST BY REQUEST!)

To the Makers of the Belgian Chocolate Covered Mini Cream Puffs:

I feel that I must write to you and speak out for all the women in this world who love your cream puffs. It was bad enough that this evening, I had to "quick defrost" the container I had in my freezer to get to these delectable morsels in a hurry, but to then find out that not only was I SHORTED ONE PUFF, but to top it off all off, one of them didn't even have ANY CREAM in it! HOW, I ask you, DID THIS HAPPEN? This is just sooooooo wrong on soooooooo many levels!

PLEASE do NOT let this travesty happen again!

Sincerely,
PMS'ing in VA!

What's On The Menu

Dinner's in the crockpot...........










and bread's in the basket.

ROFLOL!

Cats........you gotta love 'em!

Jokes You CAN Tell In Church

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

LOL!

LOL!

Need a good chuckle? Please stop by Debbieo's at "Doing My Best For Him" and read her latest post!

Farm Humor

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer was questioning Clyde ."Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask... for any details", the lawyer interrupted.. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the heck would you say?"

Farm Humor

ENJOY!
:> )

Barnyard Boogie

ROFLOL!

What Do You Do All Day?

A man came home from work and found his three
children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in
the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, and so the
front door to the house and there was no sign of the
dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the
throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with
toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast
food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was
open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a
broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile
of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys
and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He
was worried she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made
its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap
and more toys strewn over the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste
had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still
curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a
novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day
went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What
happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day
when you come home from work and you ask me what in
the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

I LOVE IT!

My Skippy Man & Peanut Butter Cream Pie

I had been looking through a bunch of my cookbooks this week, for a special dessert for the boys. I couldn't find one that I wanted to make, so I came up with one I thought they might like.......Peanut Butter Cream Pie. The only thing in this recipe that is NOT homemade, was the pre-made graham cracker crust I used, since all of mine were GONE! lol You can use regular pie crust if you prefer, but I thought the graham cracker crust would just go so much better.

So what do you think? Isn't she prrrrdy?

Ok, for this recipe, you will need:

For the vanilla pudding:
2/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup corn starch
1/4 tsp salt
**1/3 cup chocolate powder - ONLY if making chocolate pudding
2 1/2 cups milk
4 egg yolks
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon vanilla

Peanut Butter Crumbs:
Blend 1/2 cup crunchy peanut butter
& 1 cup powdered sugar

Whipped Cream:
2 cups heavy whipping cream
1 tsp vanilla
1 tablespoons powdered sugar
**whip till stiff peaks form

Graham Cracker Crust:
use your own homemade kind OR
1 pre-made graham cracker crust

COOKING DIRECTIONS FOR PUDDING:
In a medium saucepan OFF heat, whisk together the dry ingredients. Gradually whish in milk, taking care to dissolve the corn starch. Whisk in egg yolks. Place saucepan on medium heat whisking continuously until first big bubble splatter. Reduce to low and continue cooking and stirring for 3 minutes. Remove from heat. If you have lumps in your pudding, which I did not, pour through a sieve or sifter to remove lumps. Add vanilla and butter to hot pudding. Pour pudding into bowl and cover with plastic, making sure it touches the pudding. This will prevent a skin from forming. Unless of course you like to eat that, then just leave the plastic wrap off.

Chill pudding overnight. When ready to assemble, add 3/4 cup peanut butter crumbs on bottom of pre-made graham cracker crust. Add pudding, then top with more peanut butter crumbs, then whipped cream, and then finish it off with more crumbs on the top. That's it!

And if you want to hear what Skippy had to say about it, please continue reading......

Our conversation went something like this:

SKIPPY: We need to go to Florida soon

ME: Why? Have you heard from your mom? What's wrong, sweetie?

SKIPPY: I need to slap my momma

ME: Why? What did she do?

ME: Or what is she GOING to do?

SKIPPY: That pie was so good I'm gonna slap her so hard her great-grand babies are all gonna be born bald!

ROFLOL!

I JUST LOVE MY SKIPPY MAN!